Social contract

Draft. Feedback welcome: tell any organizer in person or message us on Meetup.

NEW2ABQ is for people who are new to Albuquerque and for people who want to help them settle in.

Being new somewhere is a vulnerable position. You don’t know anyone yet, and you’re trying to say yes to things. This agreement exists to keep that openness safe.

How we think about tolerance

We treat tolerance as an agreement, not a blank check. Everyone who keeps this agreement is welcome, whoever they are. Someone who breaks it has stepped outside the agreement, and the group will act to protect the people who keep it. We don’t need to judge anyone’s character or beliefs to do that, only whether they kept the agreement.

What we agree to

Make room for the newest person. Whoever showed up most recently matters most. Notice the person standing alone. Introduce people to each other. Don’t let any event turn into a closed circle of regulars.

No soliciting. This group is not a market. That means no selling, no MLMs or “business opportunities,” and no recruiting people into religious, political, or other organizations. If you’d like to tell someone about something you’re part of, wait until they ask.

This isn’t a dating pool. Real connections can happen and that’s fine. But don’t come to events to pursue people. Take the first “no,” including a quiet or indirect one, as final.

People share what they want to share. No one owes anyone their address, phone number, workplace, or personal history. Don’t press for it, and don’t share someone else’s information without their permission.

First meetings happen in public. Group events are held in public places. Nobody is ever expected to host at their home, or to go to someone’s home.

Ask before taking photos. Ask before taking photos of people. Ask before posting anything that identifies someone.

Show up as you are. Come late, leave early, sit quietly, skip the drink. All of it is fine. You don’t have to explain your needs, and others are asked to respect them.

Disagree without contempt. People here come from everywhere and believe different things. Hate or harassment directed at anyone for who they are breaks this agreement.

If something goes wrong

If someone makes you uncomfortable or breaks this agreement, tell an organizer, in person or by message on Meetup. You don’t need proof, and you don’t need to be sure it “counts.”

What usually happens:

1. A private word with the person.
2. If it continues or is serious, they’re removed from events.
3. If needed, they’re removed from the group.

Serious or deliberate harm skips straight to removal.

Reports about organizers can go to any other organizer. As the organizing team grows, so will the number of people you can go to.

If you’re in danger, call 911 first.